You’ve seen it on Facebook – people updating their relationship status.
In a relationship with so and so.
In a relationship with so and so.
In a relationship with so and so and it’s complicated.
Since I’ve been on Facebook, I think about four years now, some of my Facebook friends’ relationships have changed several times. Several. So I pose the question, what does God think about this?
First of all, let me throw out a disclaimer… The Grubbies are not full throttle on the dating scene (in regards to our kiddos) and are seeking the Lord, step by step as we figure this out. I would say we’re somewhere between the Duggars and Friday Night Lights… 🙂 But, here are some things we hear the Lord saying:
The Lord loves you more than you can imagine and only wants what’s best for you. God’s best. I can throw down a couple dozen verses for ya’ on this, but I’ll let you explore that on your own. Just use a Bible Concordance or online Bible and search “love.” 🙂 He greatly treasures you as His precious child and is constantly on the lookout for you.
God created us for relationship. He created us for relationship 1st with Him, and then with others. (Matt. 6:33, John 15). God must remain our first love. If we are not pursuing an active relationship with our Creator, we have no business pursuing a “relationship” here on earth. First things first.
God’s design for dating is preparation for a marriage relationship. Now, I don’t have a throw down verse for this one, but I will take us back to the 1st point that God loves you/me more than we can imagine. Based in that, we can determine that it’s not His will for us to date – break-up – date – break up. That is not His pattern for marriage. If we learn that pattern in dating relationships, than when the rubber meets the road in marriage, it will be easier to just walk away from marriage. The rubber will meet the road. Marriage is not easy. Marriage takes work and a whole lot of grace from God. God does not want us to just walk away from marriage when times get tough.
So what does that mean for you? Here are just a couple suggestions to avoid the relationship drama and pursue God’s best for you in this area.
- Be friends. Yes, your heart may pitter/patter when you see him/her. That’s normal (and a little fun and exciting and nerve-wracking). A long-term relationship isn’t built on those attractions, but on a strong friendship base. Take time to develop that friendship. Hang out with each other and with others.
- Set guidelines for yourself. If/when you move into a relationship, keep mental guidelines for yourself and listen for the Holy Spirit as He leads you. God gave us guidelines all throughout the Bible (most common are the 10 commandments) and again they’re for our good and God’s best for our lives. Avoid situations where there’s too much opportunity for things to go to far. Once you hit one of those milestones, it’s almost impossible to go back. For example, if you kiss, it will almost be a expectation that you will kiss each time that you are together. If you do more than that, it will be likely that you will do more than that whenever the opportunity allows.
- Listen to wisdom. Wisdom comes in many forms; the Holy Spirit if you’re a believer, godly parents, youth pastor/leaders, friends that are committed to live for Christ and the Bible… just to name a few. God is good about repeating a message He wants us to hear through many different sources. The book of Proverbs is a water-hose of wisdom. Check it out.
So there you have it, my two cents about being “in a relationship“. Please feel free to share your nuggets of wisdom below as well :).