“Even though I know I need that intimate communication that settles on my soul, I still run on blindly at times, not willing to stop and get the refreshment that would revitalize my whole being.” Sheila Walsh
Knowing that I desperately need some “mountain” time with my Father (Jesus went to the mountain/garden to pray and spend time with the Father) I was looking forward to some downtime on this mission trip for some “mountain time”, some “garden time,” away from the rat-race of everyday life, a time to “come away by (my)self to a remote place and rest a while” Mark 6:31. However, that really hasn’t been possible… so far. (Hear the spinning record squeak to a screeching halt – music stops.) Some situations at home have caused us to be there, even though we are 600 miles away. Can’t go into details, but some major things are happening at home that are causing me to be there (emotionally and via telephone) and our town was flooding again this week. (Thankfully this last threat of 2-4 inches of rain didn’t materialize and the threat of a 2nd crest doesn’t look like it’s going to cause more destruction – PRAISE THE LORD!!) And of course, there’s the work of the mission trip. Went to bed last night exhausted, drained, worn out, empty, feeling guilty that I was here (on this mission trip) but I’m not all here – wondering how I was going to get through the rest of this week…
This morning, the kids and I joined Kevin at one of the job sites. Unfortunately (or not) the work that needed to be done this morning required working on a ladder and there really wasn’t much that the kiddos could do – so we ventured off to find a park, got some lunch and came back to the hotel. Then, as we’re deciding if we’re going to join the group for today’s after-school program, I read Sheila’s words (above) and felt the LORD say, “Why don’t ya’ll just stay a while and sit a spell.” (We’re in the south, Jesus speaks southern here 😉 ). Good idea Jesus. A worn-out Kendra with nothing to give is no good for myself, my family or those God has called me to serve.
So that’s where I went, let the kiddos play at the pool and I set up camp with Jesus (He likes tents). I was just sitting there, talking with Him and being still enough for Him to speak to me – and I prayed, yeah, I knew by faith, that the end result will be a revitalized soul – how my soul thirsts for Him. This is no time to “grow weary from well-doing” but I gotta take the time to get filled, so that His power can rest in me.
I’ll close with a wonderful reminder of His love, shackled by the guilt of “where I’m at and how did I let myself get here” this quote spoke volumes to me.
“If I could say only one thing, it would be simple and to the point: God knows all about you. He knows your good days and your bad days. He knows the noble thoughts and the shameful thoughts. He sees your devotion and your indifference. And he loves you – totally, completely, passionately, boundlessly. Forever.” Sheila Walsh