I Do

Kevin and I are by no means a perfect example of a perfect marriage – but as we’re in our 19th year of marriage and we have counseled dozens of couples along the way, there are a few things that “I do” (we do) that have helped us over the years.

Spend time together - Yes, I know you’re busy. We are too. Thankfully we have some flexibility in our schedule that we can meet for lunch dates from time to time (lunch dates are also cheaper than dinner dates). With work, ministry, kids’ activities etc – sometimes you have to find “pockets of time” together – but DO IT.  You NEED it!

Communicate - If I’m not happy about something, I tell Kevin.  It may sound something like, “Kevin,  that really pissed me off when you ________…”  Sorry if you were looking for some uber-spiritual Christianese phrase that I gently say when my peace has been disrupted… but let’s get real here, that is what I say.  Granted, I may not (mostly) say it in a LOUD voice, but I don’t dance around my point.  After 18 years, we’ve realized there’s no point in expecting the other to read between the lines. Communicate. Clearly and often.  (As kindly as possible ). Other examples are, “Kevin, I feel like you haven’t been affectionate to me in a few days.”  or “Honey, we haven’t spent much time together lately – let’s do something.” I’m sure Kevin could add a few things that he communicates to me (honey, feel free to pipe in here).

Praise - Publicly and privately praise your spouse. Do both.  Just praising publicly can be glorified BS if not also done privately… but words are so important – so use them to encourage your spouse.  Affection falls under this as well. Show affection publicly (within reason people… don’t make someone tell you to “get a room”, he he) and privately.  So, so important.

Look out for number ONE - If you’re married, you are “one”, so look out for your spouse.  When you notice that he/she is stressed, say something to encourage him/her.  If the other is super busy, do something that will lighten the load.  Kevin is WAY better at this than I am.  Consider his/her feelings.  Look out for his/her interests.  Know each other’s “love languages” and love on him/her in that way.

Love/Respect - Ephesians 5 challenges husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. (Some versions use submit, but some people flip out when they hear the word submit.  So, for today’s purposes, the word respect works just fine.) That doesn’t mean wives aren’t supposed to love their husbands or husbands aren’t suppose to show respect to their wives.  We are both to do both… but God knows our needs.  Women need to feel loved.  Men need to feel respected.  Since, He’s pretty much the expert, I say we take His advice .

Pray - Pray for your spouse.  Obvious? Cliche? Maybe… but do it.  Here’s another one… Pray for God to help you love your spouse. I shared a couple of years ago about a season(s) that I didn’t love Kevin.  Raw, but true.  Click on that and read it for the full story, but if you’re “not feeling it” anymore – ask God for it.  That is TOTALLY praying within His will and I PROMISE you, He will answer.

Commit - Commit to the commitment. Marriage is not just a piece of paper – it’s a commitment – a covenant – before God and is worth working for.  Be intentional to make it work.  IT WILL NOT HAPPEN ON ITS OWN.

Confide - Have someone that you can confide in when things are rocky.  Enlist some prayer warriors.  I guarantee Kevin and I are where we are today because of a) the GRACE of God and b) the prayers from people we have confided in.

What are some of your “secrets” to making Marriage marvelous?  Please share

PS – A resource for marriage that is uh-maaazing is RefineUs… Check it out.  Also, if you would like prayer for your marriage, message me privately and it would be our honor to pray for you.

Horton Hears a …???

Repost from 2008… be a voice!
Since we’re planning on seeing the movie soon, I read “Horton Hears a Who” to the kiddos this morning, and got MORE than I bargained for. It all started with the line: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” Immediately, that made me think of the tiny babies of the world, nestled snug in their mother’s wombs. The Mommy, maybe even unaware that they have a lil’ pea living in their abdomen.
Then come the doubters, the skeptics… the kangaroos of the world, “A person on that? Why, there never has been.” (“Life doesn’t begin until birth”… and other lies.) But Horton pressed on, “I know there’s a person down there… Try not to disturb them. Just please let them be.” The skeptics insisted to Horton, “I think you’re a fool.” But Horton persisted, “I’ve got to protect them. I’m bigger than they. So he plucked up the clover and hustled away.” Then the part that really got me, when their little voices spoke up, brought me to tears. I’m sure my kids were wondering, why is Mom getting so emotional about “Horton Hears a Who”? The “whos” said, “We Whos are all thankful and grateful to you.” Next the Wickersham Brothers and Uncles, cousins In-Laws came and were going to BOIL the speck with the Whos. Horton, sweating in desperation cries out, “Oh, that you can’t do! It’s all full of persons! They’ll prove it to you!” So he tells the Whos they HAVE to make some noise or their all going to DIE! They cried, “We are here! We are here! We are here! We are here!” Finally, when they made all the noise they could, they cried out for more help, “We’ve GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!”

And with that, they “proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.”

See, Horton stood up for those who couldn’t yet let their voice be heard. He spoke up for the “person, no matter how small.” Shouldn’t we be doing that exact same thing? Horton gets it! The phrase, “a person’s a person no matter how small” is strikingly similar to:

“I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born.” Jer. 1:5

“You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13

A person’s a person, whether held in a mother’s arms or nestled snug in the comforts of the womb, being knit together by God Himself. Why is that so hard for so many to understand?

10,023,935 and counting are the little voices that have said… “We are here! We are here! We are here! We are here!”

“We’ve GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!”

Making Disciples

We’ve been blessed with many opportunities to pour into people over the past 11 years, but God has lent us three children that have come with a special calling.  A call to make disciples in your own home. Like many Christian families, we’ve done some things well and we’ve not done some things well. We’ve had periods of great consistency in regards to family devotions and discipleship and we’ve had times where we’ve slacked off for one reason or another.  We can’t change yesterday, but we can answer the call today.

Nothing is more important than loving on your children and leading them to Jesus, for a lifetime.  Now, there’s no guarantee they’re going to live for Jesus into their adult life, as they have free will and ultimately it’s their choice… daily.  But, we can trust that if we do our part ~ God will take care of the rest. (Prov. 22:6).

In our home discipleship has taken many forms; from spur of the moment discussions to discipline with explanations, Bible time, teachable moments, quality time, prayer, repentance and forgiveness (a lot of forgiveness), fun times/games, serving together, sitting around a fire and other things.

Here are some things we are doing this summer.  I share this with you to hopefully give you some ideas of some things you can do with your kiddos and I welcome ideas and what you’re doing in the comment section .

Bible Time: We’re reading through the book of John, a section at a time. My goal for this is for them to be able to read/study the bible on their own, without having a study book or devotional. We are each writing in our journal/notebooks what God is showing us in each passage and how it applies to our lives (good ol WoL method ). Some days we read it and discuss it together and other times we read it on our own, write our thoughts down and then come together to share what God is teaching us.  It’s amazing how God uses His word to speak something different to each of us.

Serving: We have already been serving dinner once a month at the City Mission, but now we are all pitching in on the Food Bank/Free Store that LifePoint is preparing to open (partnering with the City Mission). Food has been steadily coming and the Grubbies have been happy to help stock shelves. I’ve always appreciated (and have been thankful to God for) the willingness of my kiddos to help out, from passing out tracts in the DR to painting a building while church planting.  We’re planning a trip next month to help out with Neighborlink in Indiana and I pray we’ll be able to do a mission trip as a family in the next year.

Reading: The girls and I are reading “Kisses from Katie” this summer. This kills two birds with one stone in that it keeps them reading throughout the summer and this is an amazing story of surrender and following God wholeheartedly. Now, if someone would just catch up so we can have our coffee date to talk about the chapters we’ve read, AHEM!

Prayer: Several people very close to us have faced very intense situations in the past couple of weeks. This has given us the opportunity to come together and really pray for these people/situations and watch how God is working in them/through them. It also opens the door to share things on our minds and pray together about stuff we’re each facing. Nothing is too big or too small for our God.

Physical: As you know, we’re running The ColorRun (5K) in July – so we have been training together for that.

In a nutshell, that’s what’s happening on the Grubbie front. What kinds of things are YOU doing to make disciples in your home?

In a Relationship

You’ve seen it on Facebook – people updating their relationship status.

In a relationship with so and so.

Single.

In a relationship with so and so.

Single.

In a relationship with so and so and it’s complicated. 

Since I’ve been on Facebook, I think about four years now, some of my Facebook friends’ relationships have changed several times.  Several. So I pose the question, what does God think about this?

First of all, let me throw out a disclaimer… The Grubbies are not full throttle on the dating scene (in regards to our kiddos) and are seeking the Lord, step by step as we figure this out.  I would say we’re somewhere between the Duggars and Friday Night Lights…  But, here are some things we hear the Lord saying:

The Lord loves you more than you can imagine and only wants what’s best for you.  God’s best. I can throw down a couple dozen verses for ya’ on this, but I’ll let you explore that on your own.  Just use a Bible Concordance or online Bible and search “love.”  He greatly treasures you as His precious child and is constantly on the lookout for you.

God created us for relationship.  He created us for relationship 1st with Him, and then with others.  (Matt. 6:33, John 15). God must remain our first love.  If we are not pursuing an active relationship with our Creator, we have no business pursuing a “relationship” here on earth. First things first.

God’s design for dating is preparation for a marriage relationship. Now, I don’t have a throw down verse for this one, but I will take us back to the 1st point that God loves you/me more than we can imagine.  Based in that, we can determine that it’s not His will for us to date – break-up – date – break up.  That is not His pattern for marriage.  If we learn that pattern in dating relationships, than when the rubber meets the road in marriage, it will be easier to just walk away from marriage.  The rubber will meet the road.  Marriage is not easy.  Marriage takes work and a whole lot of grace from God.  God does not want us to just walk away from marriage when times get tough.

So what does that mean for you?  Here are just a couple suggestions to avoid the relationship drama and pursue God’s best for you in this area.

• Be friends.  Yes, your heart may pitter/patter when you see him/her.  That’s normal (and a little fun and exciting and nerve-wracking). A long-term relationship isn’t built on those attractions, but on a strong friendship base.  Take time to develop that friendship.  Hang out with each other and with others.
• Set guidelines for yourself.  If/when you move into a relationship, keep mental guidelines for yourself and listen for the Holy Spirit as He leads you.  God gave us guidelines all throughout the Bible (most common are the 10 commandments) and again they’re for our good and God’s best for our lives.  Avoid situations where there’s too much opportunity for things to go to far. Once you hit one of those milestones, it’s almost impossible to go back.  For example, if you kiss, it will almost be a expectation that you will kiss each time that you are together.  If you do more than that, it will be likely that  you will do more than that whenever the opportunity allows.
• Listen to wisdom.  Wisdom comes in many forms; the Holy Spirit if you’re a believer, godly parents, youth pastor/leaders, friends that are committed to live for Christ and the Bible… just to name a few. God is good about repeating a message He wants us to hear through many different sources. The book of Proverbs is a water-hose of wisdom. Check it out.

So there you have it, my two cents about being “in a relationship“.  Please feel free to share your nuggets of wisdom below as well .

Well, Hello There!

I can’t believe my last post was the HEARTBEAT Bill post!  Ay Ay Ay!!!  Well, if we’re friends on FaceBook, or follow each other on Twitter – I pretty much keep those updated.  (If we’re not friends of FB or Twitter pals, feel free to “friend”/follow me as as long as you’re not a creeper, I’ll “friend”/follow you back!!)

Soooooo, here’s a lil’ update on the past month or so:

Sept. 25th I ventured out with Valerie to drive 24 hours to Albuquerque, NM ~ her new ‘home.’  Let me tell ya’, me n God had a few chats about this one!!!  We had only met Val and Jesse last year around Christmas – but totally fell in love with them.  I was NOT happy with His plan of moving them away… *sad face*. But, His ways are NOT my ways… so instead of sulking in my self-pity, I helped her with the long drive (since Jesse had already been out there since August).  Plus, my aunt lives in ABQ, so it was a perfect fit – help with driving, visit my aunt, spend time in ABQ, FLY home .   OH!  And did I get to mention, that my sweet Leading and Loving It friend, Steph, let us crash at her house at the 1/2 way point… near Tulsa, OK!  What fun it was to to hang out, talk ministry, laugh, meet her family that  I read about on her blog!  That part of the visit was TOO SHORT, but such a blessing!!

Anyhoo, I got back from that trip on Wednesday evening… and that weekend we had our 20th reunion… Whitmer Class of 1991… HOW DID WE GET SO OLD!?!  It was a blast seeing ‘old’ friends at the football game, Friday and at the reunion, Saturday.  T-W-E-N-T-Y years ago I graduated from high school.  CRAZINESS!

After the reunion weekend, I left Monday morning for 6th Grade camp at YMCA Storer Camps in Jackson,MI to be a cabin leader of 8 eleven-year-old girlies, including my Emma!  WHAT A HOOT!  We had the best time canoeing, horseback riding, rock wall climbing, snake petting, GPS adventuring, square-dancing and So.Much.More.  Funny thing is, I went to Camp Storer when I was in 6th grade (a few years ago…). It was such a blessing to get to go.

A few bullet points that may get their own blog posts in the near future, if I don’t wait SIX weeks to blog again:

• I’m co-hosting a Leading and Loving It LOCAL Event tomorrow night for Pastor’s Wives & Women in Ministry.  It’s a Mix-n-Mingle Mocktail Party!!  Can’t wait!!
• God has lead us to a fabulous company, Melaleuca.  We have loved the products for years and recently became “preferred customers”.   We are able to use and share about products that are amazing, safe for your home and family and get what we need delivered right to our door! Yippeeeee!!! We also have referred a few friends/family and are starting to build quite the business.  God’s timing is perfect.
• Joey has to have another foot surgery.  We were discouraged at first as this news caught us off guard.  But, we are all thankful that he is able to get these corrections done and that we don’t have to deal with anything more serious.  We had just gone to the Matthew West concert a week ago, and Joey said to us at lunch after his Dr, appt, “Well, at least I’m not the little boy Matthew West wrote a Christmas Song about.”  True that, buddy!  However, Matthew West’s song about “Survivors” pretty much sums up our little man!
• We’re going to Connecticut for Thanksgiving!! YIPPEEEE!!!  So excited to spend time with my BFF from high school and spend Thanksgiving with her family.  We’ll miss our family’s dinner, but looking forward to this adventure.  We hope to hit NYC during our visit too, which I’ve NEVER been!

Ok – that’s all (well, not really, but those are the highlights!)

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO??

Never Once

If we’re friends on Facebook, you may have noticed this week I posted with great excitement that we have given the BOOT to Joey’s boot.  All he has left is a few weeks of PT and he’s DONE with his feet ordeal.  As we left his appointment on Monday, I was caught off-guard with how emotional I was.  Just seeing the light at the end of this seven year tunnel, thinking on God’s faithfulness and the strength that He gave us to endure this long trial and how He worked it out in His perfect timing (new ortho doc in Findlay that specializes in feet).  Never once did we ever walk alone. He was always with us. Never once did God ever leave us on our own.

That’s my new favorite song by Matt Redman.  I can play this over and over and over – shouting in praise to our Faithful God – hands lifted so high I stretch my shoulders out of their sockets.

This song also stirs up emotions as I reflect on LifePoint‘s three years of existence. Even though at times it felt like more negative things were happening than positive – I can look back see how far we’ve come, knowing every victory is His power in us. There’s been scars and troubles… but God never once left us to walk alone or left us on our own.  He has been faithful.  He is faithful!

Finally, I can stand here on this mountaintop and see how God has healed/is healing from some deep hurts, some scars and struggles that pretty much knocked the wind out of us.  Battles that Satan tried to use to take us down… But, for every step God was with us and because of His power in us, we made it through. Now, with JOY our hearts can say:

Never once did we ever walk alone.

Never once did You leave us on our own.

YOU ARE FAITHFUL! GOD, YOU ARE FAITHFUL!

Enjoy this song by Matt Redman.  Close your eyes and raise up your hands in praise and shout YOU ARE FAITHFUL! GOD, YOU ARE FAITHFUL!!  PS – TURN IT UP!!

Plan B (C,D,E) Vaca Recap

It was on the books and in the plans to take a family vacation to visit my Aunt in New Mexico this year.  However, the New Mexico trip turned into a Grubbie Girly only trip (Juju and Emma) and we planned vacation Plan B for the whole Grubbie clan:  A Mohican Adventure, our Vaca Plan B.

I’m gonna do my best to make this short (GRIN).  Anyone who knows me knows I have a hard time being short with words… but here goes:

I booked a cabin online near the Mohican State Park and Canoe Liveries.  The plan was to head out early Sunday to Amish country, eat a hearty, Amish meal and head back to Mohican… check in the cabin and start our week of hiking, canoeing, fishing…  But, the cabin was yucky.  Ok, it was gross. We were going to deal with the yuckiness until 9-10 centipedes joined me in my ‘whirlpool’ bath.  We moved out Sunday night. Night at a motel.  Booked a different cabin for Monday in Amish Country.  Our Plan B vacation had its own Plan B… and what a wonderful plan God had.

The new cabin was quaint, clean and perfect in every way.  It had a porch with two rocking chairs, a fenced in yard with a fire pit, glider and picnic table, a whirlpool tub, fireplace, and kitchenette.  The epitome of peacefulness and serenity. The cabin was owned by an Amish family who brought us fresh baked goods each day, let the kiddos play with the horses, let us fish in their pond and even took the kiddos on a ‘buggy ride’.  We even enjoyed an evening fire AT their house.

We never did get to go canoeing because the river was too high, but we made new, unexpected friends, cherished family memories and had a refreshing and enjoyable get-away.

Here are some pix from our week:

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PS – If you’re in Ohio and would like a quiet, peaceful, even romantic get-away… I highly recommend Cricket Hill Cabins!

More Than 140 Characters…

Well, I need more than 140 characters to share an update after my boy Joey’s surgery today.   Overall, everything went GREAT.  We are so thankful for our many friends and family – your prayers, words of encouragement, texts, tweets etc. checking on us and even visits!!

Let me just preface this with what Joey told me last night, “Mom, it’s ok if my surgery doesn’t go well because maybe that’s God’s plan for my life.”  What in the world?  Love his faith!

Joey was a TROOPER today!  He was all smiles all morning after arriving at the hospital. We were so thankful to have our friend Denise as his nurse (THANKS DENISE!)

Rearing to go!

Gettin’ his schnazzy gown on…

Getting to watch Karate Kid (The Will Smith Kid one) while waiting for doctor.

At just before 8:30 they came in to say they were ready for him.  We prayed with him and watched them wheel him away as we were directed to the waiting room.  *Yes, I had a moment*.

About an hour and a half later, we were paged that the doctor was ready to meet with us.  He said the surgery went GREAT, showed us the pictures of his reconstructed foot, answered all of our questions and discussed the follow up.

Check out the ‘bullet’ in Joey’s foot!

We heard the nurses weren’t going to release him to us because they were going to take him home . He had won them over. After waiting another 15 minutes, Denise came to get us because Joey was starting to wake up.  Joey looked like heck and was already crying in pain *break a Mama’s heart*.  They gave him some meds and cozy warm blankets. Then, they wheeled him back downstairs and he fell back asleep.  Each time he woke up he was ready to go home… and finally we were on our way.

Since we’ve been home he’s pretty comfortable… as long as he’s not moving and also distracted (movies, xbox, friends…). He’s only been up once and wasn’t ready to use crutches because having his foot down hurt too much so Daddy carried him to the bathroom.  One good thing about him being a peanut .  We’ve prayed several times and Joey asked me to read to him from the Bible.  He knows where his strength is going to come for this bump in the road!  However, he has stated about a dozen times that he doesn’t want to have another surgery (they will do his other foot in about five weeks), so if you don’t mind, please be praying specifically for that.

We’ve rearranged our house a bit for this recovery… I’m sharing my “green chair” with Joey and we’ve moved that into the Family Room and brought the TV upstairs to the main floor (it’s kinda nice ).  He’s got plenty of candy to get him through, and some colorful balloons to brighten his spirit!!

Chillin’ on the GREEN CHAIR!

Pray for:

• Quick healing
• These couple of days to fly by for him
• Us to rely on His strength (especially Joey)
• Joey to be able to get up a little bit tomorrow (with crutches)

Thank you so much for your prayers. The Lord has been gracious to hold us close throughout it all!

Well, hello there!

Hey Friends!  Have been doing a lot of writing, but not blogging… but I thought I’d stop in there to say HEY!  Got lots of blog posts half written, but none are passing the “will post” test (halted by either me or God ).  Sometimes things are IN PROCESS, and that definitely describes me and where I’m at… IN PROCESS.  Ready to be on the other side of the process and jump all over giving God the glory He deserves.  For now, suffice it to say I give Him glory for the process.

If you understood any of that – Lord, bless you!  I do have a ‘favorite thing’ blog coming soon… maybe this week??

Also, wanted to do a quick prayer request shout out for my son, Joey. I debated about sharing this all over the world wide web (does anyone call it that anymore??), but would really like some prayer for my little guy.  He’s had feet issues since he was a toddler ~ crying about his feet hurting etc.  We’ve mentioned it to the Dr. over the years, but have always attributed his foot pain to flat feet, growing pains etc. We recently took him to a specialist and his feet are in fact deformed… He will start wearing orthotics tomorrow and may possibly be facing surgery early this summer.  He is experiencing a lot of anxiety about all of this, so that’s my main prayer request ~ that He senses God’s peace throughout this trial, learns to cast his care on Him and develops trust for a God who loves him so much.  Also for healing, of course, and for God to be all over it if he has to have surgery.

How about you?  How can I pray for you these days?

Financial Peace ~Holla!~

Holla!  (I love that word!)  My One Word 2011 is Simplify and one area the Grubbies want to simplify is our FiNaNcEs.  We’ve been ‘on a budget’ for several years now… but even late last fall our emergencies outweighed our ‘Emergency Fund.”  We’re so excited to FINALLY be able to attend a Financial Peace University class (taught by Dave Ramsey) and tighten up the ship a bit so that doesn’t happen again.  Ray and Barb Linn will be teaching FPU at LifePoint on Sundays after church starting February 13th (with a free preview on Sun. Jan. 30th).  We’re gonna potluck lunch it throughout these 13 weeks… yet ANOTHER way to save some $$$ ~ so it will be convenient for anyone to stay.  Childcare will be provided as well. (Holla!)

The cost is $93/couple or single. WHAT?!?!?!  $93.00!!!???!!!  Now, before you flip at that number, that averages out to $7.15 per class.  Included in that number is Dave’s Total Money Makeover book, your workbooks and materials, and audio CDs.   Wait, that’s not all… Once you’ve taken an FPU class for $93, you can retake it as many times as you want for FREE anywhere.  Hold on, there’s more!  You’ll have access to many helpful online financial tools… for-EH-ver.  And to that I say, “Holla!”

So, c’mon.  Aren’t you sick of living paycheck to paycheck?  Do you want to control your money, or do you want it to control you?  Let’s learn what God has to say about debt and budgeting.  Let’s Do This Thang!

According to Dave;

“There are over 800 scriptures in the bible about money…”

You’ll learn to “live like no one else and you’ll be able to GIVE like no one else!”

I’m excited and I hope you are too!! You can register HERE.  Choose our zip code (45840) and then LifePoint Community Church OR you can register at LifePoint.